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A disturbing mentality…



Chukwuneta Oby


June 29, 2019

It is called ‘sugar cares’ in a particular (weekend edition) of a national newspaper.

It’s a section where young persons solicit the involvement of much (but ‘moneyed’) older persons in their lives for material benefits – in return for their sexual… please, complete the sentence.

From the figures that I have been working on (so far), it’s safe to conclude that 70 per cent of those soliciting these ‘sugar cares’ are young men while the remaining 30 per cent are from their female counterparts.

One comes across requests like: “I am a guy of 27, looking for a sugar mummy of any age and shape. Who will help me realise my dreams in life?”

It’s rather disturbing because all I see are young people who are derailing at an alarming rate.

The first thing that anybody who has any dreams at all should know is ‘whether or not a dream comes through is entirely up to the dreamer’!

Part of a young man’s message to me read, “I really need your help. I’m a graduate of agric economics from (name withheld) university and have my own business – a poly plastic company that I am still growing. My type of lady: if older than me, must not be more than 40 years old and should be so lovely. I must be sincere; if she is wealthy, I will be so grateful. I would need support in my business, which is two years old. It is a lucrative business but my challenge is non-availability of capital. I am 32 years old.”

My response to him:

“Thanks for reaching out but why must it be a woman that has to help you in your business?

…because she wants to be married?

What happened to approaching the Bank of Industry and other commercial bank (loan) services?

I think young men should do away with the mentality of going into marriage because of what a ‘rich lady’ can offer them.

The marital institution of this age is in a huge crisis because people are no longer going into marriage for the right reasons.

If your business is as lucrative as you claim,

Then draw up a business plan and begin to knock on doors (relatives, friends, banks, loan houses, co-operative schemes, etc.) to support with capital.

You don’t need a woman for this.

Find your feet first and marry only when you are emotionally ready and for the right reasons.

Men who make efforts to build themselves are more respected in marriages.

How much can a woman really give you?

Before letting yourself believe that a woman is your economic salvation,

Make efforts to explore other genuine options there are…to finding your feet.

Attend entrepreneurial seminars.

The seminar organisers (if approached with a comprehensive proposal) can even help organise ‘soft loans’ on your behalf.

Research other available loan facilities/outlets.

A lot of options abound out there.

The problem is that most of you don’t bother with such researches because your mind is just fixated on one solution…a rich woman!

So many business ideas abound on the Internet but some of you only go there for negative purposes.

It’s disappointing to realise that even the supposed older guys are heavily into ‘living off women’,

…and don’t really bother with concerted efforts to find a direction in life.

When their victims become wise, they move to the next one –promising marriage.

It’s my prayer that the drive that made you make the moves to start a business that has lasted up to two years,

Would propel you to think out of this ‘rusty’ box (of believing your economic salvation can only come from a rich wife).

And explore higher and wider horizons.

You can only go as far as your faith and efforts carry you!”

Source: Punch

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